Love is Here and Now Gone

Mr Darcy famously says two things, “… disguise of every kind is my abhorrence …” and “… my good opinion, once lost, is lost forever …”. In this story Dixon shows us the meaning of these principles and their consequences. We learn that the greatest casualty of disguise, deception and lies is TRUST.
Following Elizabeth’s vehement refusal of Darcy’s proposal at Rosings, Darcy resolves to improve her opinion of him and convince her to be his wife. He also decides that he will protect himself from future heartache.
Darcy begins courting Elizabeth, in the ‘traditional’ fashion with open communication, loving gestures and by amending the errors he made concerning Mr Bingley and her family.
Oh! This was hard to read because Darcy is doing the very thing he loathes, DISGUISE! We know his actions come from a deep love but, despite his need to avoid emotional pain, he is on a path that can only lead to worse pain for everyone!
Darcy wins Elizabeth’s heart. They marry and begin their lives at Pemberley. Immediately, Darcy goes forward with his plan to ‘protect his heart’. They enjoy moments of love and passion then, during the remainder of the day he reverts to being the reserved, aloof man Elizabeth first encountered at Meryton.
From Elizabeth’s perspective, there is confusion and self-doubt but she rallies and tried to understand his behaviour and to encourage her husband towards the happy life they could enjoy. Eventually, despite her efforts, Elizabeth despairs and accepts what she sees as the sad life she must endure.
Darcy however, from his contrived ‘distance’, begins to realise how fortunate he truly is. Darcy sees that Elizabeth’s love is genuine and she will fight for it against his ‘indifference’; he sees her courage rise as she puts aside her sadness and strives to become a worthy mistress of Pemberley; he sees her win the respect of the staff at Pemberley with her charm and kindness.
Then, he faces the ultimate shock that his foolishness may have cost him everything. Darcy watched Elizabeth move from joy to confusion and sadness then, finally, to total despair.
Darcy finally confesses the truth of his actions and begs for her forgiveness.
That “…good opinion…” that Darcy referred to is trust, and trust once it is lost may never be restored.
This powerful scene says it all, “… Elizabeth turned towards the window once more, considering his words. She responded, “Neither understanding nor forgiveness is easy. One requires trust, the other grace-and I am uncertain which I can offer.”
[Darcy says] “… and if either is beyond your heart to grant, I shall accept that. Yet, I must try to become the man I ought to have been from the beginning …” “
I do not have the words to say how much I loved this story. It broke my heart, it made me think really hard and in the end, I realised that this is no ordinary love story. This story takes a very serious look at Darcy’s and Elizabeth’s romance in the context of real people living a real life.
The story begins in ‘middle’ and ends at the ‘beginning’. The reality is that that is every relationship.
Dixon is brilliant because she pushes us to such an extreme that we are left reeling from having learned a valuable lesson.